I am falling way behind on the #tbt childhood crush series that I began not long ago. I know my readers have been waiting with bated breath to see who my next #tbt childhood crush would be, and I must sincerely apologize for the wait. Sometimes it’s tough to really differentiate between those nineties heartthrobs who I truly crushed on and the ones who simply took up space on my teenage fangirl bedroom walls. It’s a rough job, guys.
But fear not, my friends! For I am about to present to you one of my biggest and most memorable childhood crushes of all time.
Oh my gosh, he’s dreamy.
Yep. That’s right. My fourth and perhaps most significant #tbt childhood crush is the one and only Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza (PEPPERONI, OF COURSE). He is the greatest microwaveable invention to come out of the nineties, with his gooey cheese that’s only partly burnt on the edges and his perfectly triangular pepperonis sprinkled on top. I saw him at least once a week, whether it was after school or when I snuck a midnight snack on weekends just because eating at night was the coolest when you were eleven.
There were occasions when French Bread Pizza would act like he couldn’t care less about me, though, to be sure. I don’t even want to talk about those times when he would burn a massive blister onto the roof of my mouth, apologize by being extra delicious and filling, and then turn back around and scrape my mouth with his tough baguette crust moments later. He was never a constant lover.
BUT. The fact remains. French Bread Pizza is the only crush on my list who truly reciprocated my love for him, and for that, well, I will never forget him.
Congratulations, Stouffer’s. You guys rule.